Anonymously Touched

Thursday evening

Amity: [answering phone] Hello?
Chigo:Hey, I just got my new Itouch!
Amity:That's great! What's it like?
Chigo:It's really fun--so many things to do and try!
Amity:Can I come see it?
Chigo:I'm a bit tired. I am just going to play with it a bit and then get some rest.
Amity:Oh...ok. Good night, then!

late Friday morning

Amity:[answering phone] Hello?
Chigo:Hey there--I just got up and heard your message. Stayed up a bit late last night.
Amity:Oh, playing with the Itouch?
Chigo:Yeah... I was watching some videos.
Chigo:And then I checked out the map functions--I never knew that there was so much to see around here!
Amity:Great! Did you find some place new to go tonight?
Chigo:I'm a bit busy tonight.
Amity:Oh? But we always hang out together on Friday?
Chigo:Sorry, I've just got some things to catch up on.
Amity:No problem. Maybe tomorrow, then.
Chigo:Maybe. I need to get going. Talk to you later!
Amity:Ok, bye!

Saturday afternoon

Chigo:[answering phone] Hi there.
Amity:How's your weekend so far? Want to watch a movie tonight?
Chigo:It's been good. Actually, I just got done watching something on my Itouch. It's so much fun!
Amity:Oh, yeah, it sounds pretty fun.
Chigo:It's so nice to finally have everything integrated into one package!
Amity:Can I come over and check it out?
Chigo:I think it may need a re-charge. I've been using it a lot.
Amity:Want to go to the mall while it charges?
Chigo:No, I don't really feel like it now. But thanks! I should probably get going...I've got some things to do.
Amity:Oh, ok. Talk to you later, then.

late Wednesday

Chigo:[answering phone] Yes?
Amity:Hey, a few of us are going out to try that new Thai restaurant. Do you want to join? I can come pick you up.
Chigo:Oh, sounds tempting. But I guess I'm not all that hungry right now.
Amity:We were going to go in an hour.
Chigo:I've been watching some stocks on my Itouch.
Amity:Isn't the floor closed now?
Chigo:Well, not *all* the floors.
Amity:Oh, yeah.
Chigo:Sorry, I've just been pretty busy.
Amity:Sure, I understand. We'll let you know if it's good.
Chigo:If what's good?
Amity:Never mind. Talk to you later!

Friday afternoon

Chigo:[answering phone] Hey.
Amity:So what's on for tonight?
Chigo:Oh, I just visited the app store and bought a couple of neat-looking games. Was thinking of trying them out.
Amity:You don't want to go out?
Chigo:No, I've been out too much lately.
Amity:Oh? Ok. Well, maybe tomorrow then?
Chigo:I think I just want to relax this weekend.
Amity:How about I come over and we watch a movie? I still haven't even seen the Itouch.
Chigo:It's kind of hard for two people to see the screen. It's not that big.
Amity:We have to watch on the Itouch?
Chigo:Maybe I'm not feeling so good.
Amity:Oh. Ok. Well, try to relax. Let me know if you need anything.
Chigo:I have a shopping app for my Itouch. I can order to go from restaurants. I can visit virtual malls. It's really sweet.
Amity:That does sound nice.
Chigo:Anyway, gotta run.
Amity:Take care.

one week later

Chigo:[answering phone] You call me a lot, you know.
Amity:What do you mean?
Chigo:Sometimes I just need some time to myself.
Amity:I haven't seen you in two weeks?
Chigo:Sure, true. But I'm just feeling pretty busy.
Amity:Has work been pretty heavy?
Chigo:Work? No, almost nothing to do these days. But I've been putting a lot of songs and photos on my Itouch, and I need to spend some time organizing them.
Amity:Oh, of course.
Chigo:I'll tell you what, why don't I call you when I have some time?
Amity:Ok. I guess that will work.
Chigo:Great! Talk to you soon.

Does this story sound familiar? Were you once the best friend of a new Itouch owner? Did they stop returning your calls?

If the answers to these questions are yes, help is now here! We represent a fellowship of men and women who share their experience and stories about friends and loved ones lost to the influence of the Apple Itouch. The only requirement for membership is a desire to recover from this devastating loss. We are not affiliated with any sect nor political party, and other than a deep loathing for Apple Computer Corporation and the occasional bake sale to benefit Microsoft, we take no interest in companies nor political action groups.

Our numbers are growing (except for the occasional traitor in our ranks who goes out and purchases his own Itouch!), and we hope that one day we will be recognized again by our friends and loved ones. Until then, we meet regularly in social settings to support each other through the unusually difficult times following loss to an Itouch.

Be warned: to date, no one has ever returned from an Itouch. You need our help!

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