Many scholars have of late decried the declining capacity of our society for literate conversation. Towards that end, I offer the following new-and-improved cultural reference concept, one which leverages modern technology to aid the addled brains of our citizens. To wit, the goolusion, or implicit reference to an earlier oeuvre including sufficient keywords to enable any reader unfamiliar with the prequel to complete the connection with a quick visit to this URL.

For example, consider the following goolusion: "After I voted in favor of the police action, my constituents treated me as though I had an albatross about my neck." A quick consultation reveals the source, or at least comes close enough to rhyming that only the slowest of mind will remain mystified.

Similarly, "A quick review of the averages from epoch to epoch suggests that America's next interlude with conscription may finally make us competitive with our Imperial counterparts, producers of the star-crossed Hodge of Wessex." The goolusion in this case is more subtle, requiring the reader to find the intended source from amongst several possibilities. Readers living outside of Africa may also find a visit to Webster's of use in understanding the other words.

Why is this definition found under my humor page? That's hard to say. Mostly so as not to leave it unchanged for more than the year that has already passed since the last addition, but also to some degree in deference to the level sands around Ozymandias' pedestal, which suggest that goolusion may also one day be antiquated.

Or, to pun badly: "A year has passed since I wrote my note." (A restaurant in Huntington Beach was playing it last night.)

By the way, goolusion should be pronounced so as to rhyme with allusion. If you're not smart enough to figure out why goolusion is spelled as it is, you're not smart enough to make goolusions. Sorry.

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